


Broken

by imbeccacile



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-22 01:29:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11956848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imbeccacile/pseuds/imbeccacile
Summary: "I admit it! I'm a mess, Rhodey! I can't do this anymore!" Tony said, voice breaking. He wanted the hurting to stop. He wanted everything to stop."...Yes, you can, Tones," he replied quietly.





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

> uh, yeah. Tony is having a breakdown. Enjoy your angst.

Tony stared down at his desk, leaning back in his swivel chair.

 

Of course he was thinking about his friends again. No amount of work could distract him anymore, no matter how hard he tried. He had stayed awake a new record of five and a half days. The last time he had slept, his dream had not been pleasant. He could remember it vividly...Steve was standing over him, holding the shield above his head, expression blank. Tony could have sworn, on the way down, the shield was about to hit his face, before Steve moved it at the last second to bury in his chest. And then left him there, alone, broken and battered, a shield in his chest...

 

Tony leaned forward abruptly, rubbing his face roughly. No. He couldn't think about that anymore. He _wouldn't_ allow it.

 

His tired gaze found the half-filled piece of paper on the desk in front of him, but he couldn't even make any sense of it anymore. "FRIDAY, time."

 

"It's 2:11, boss," she replied, "and I've been requested to inform you that Colonel Rhodes is on his way down to your lab now."

 

Tony groaned quietly, running a hand through his hair in an attempt to look like he hadn't been awake for five days, even though Rhodey knew the truth. He bent over the piece of paper with his pen, trying to look busy as the elevator doors dinged open. 

 

Rhodey was...making progress with walking. The first thing that Tony had done when they got back to the tower was create special braces that could help his best friend walk again, but they didn't fully cure his paralysis, and it made both of them frustrated, for different reasons. Tony, with himself, and Rhodey, that Tony blamed himself for the fact that he lost feeling in his legs. Rhodey slowly made his way out of the elevator, concentrating on not falling over, and finally found his place next to the desk, where his best friend was sitting.

 

"Tony, when are you going to take a break?" he asked, sighing heavily as he watched Tony feverishly scribble something on the piece of paper.

 

"Wow, you're being blunt today," Tony noted, finishing off a number to glance up at where Rhodey was standing, cocking an eyebrow. "What are you doing up at this hour?"

 

"I could ask you the same question," he chided, sinking into the extra chair that Bruce had usually occupied, when he was there. "I couldn't sleep. I'm worried about you, Tony." Tony had a feeling it wasn't just that; Rhodey did often have trouble getting comfortable now that he couldn't feel his legs, and a wave of fresh guilt hit the scientist, though he covered it up with his signature half-grin, though it was very forced.

 

"How kind of you," he drawled, stretching his arms above his head.

 

"I mean it," Rhodey pushed, leaning forward in his seat, looking very stern. "You don't eat, you don't shower, and you don't sleep. You're gonna kill yourself, you know that?"

 

It was true. Tony just didn't have any motivation to take care of himself. Sure, he hadn't ever since Afghanistan, but it just multiplied after Siberia. All of his friends were gone. He only had Rhodey left. "Gee, I'm only missing the necessities for life, where would you get an idea like that?"

 

Rhodey sighed heavily. "Drop it, Tony," he barked, giving a look that made even Tony fall silent. He lifted his hands, gesturing to the lab. "I don't care what you do to hide the fact that you're crushed inside; you ain't fooling me." He crossed his arms then. "You have post traumatic stress disorder, have anxiety attacks daily, and were just abandoned by most of your friends," he sighed, seeing the look on Tony's face, and uncrossed his arms. "I'm sorry. Look, I want you to know that it's okay to break, all right? You don't have to keep up this tough guy act, not for me."

 

Tony's own voice echoed in his mind: "I'm...I'm trying to keep you from tearing the Avengers apart!" _"You did that when you signed,"_ was the overwhelming response, and he blinked, drawing in a deep breath. When Tony didn't respond, Rhodey sighed and stood up, slowly taking a few steps at a time back toward the elevator. Tony watched his back for a moment, feeling like it was getting harder to breathe. Rhodey was right; he wasn't okay. Not in the slightest.

 

The sound of the swivel chair rolling back and rather loudly hitting the edge of the desk was enough to make Rhodey turn around in surprise. "Tony...?" He was standing, not really sure why, not really sure what he was going to say, even as he opened his mouth - 

 

"I admit it! I'm a mess, Rhodey. I can't...I can't do this anymore," he said, voice breaking. He wanted the hurting to stop. He wanted _everything_ to stop.

 

"...Yes, you can, Tones," he replied quietly, limping closer so he was only a few inches from his friend. "You wanna know why I know? Hey, Tony, look at me." His voice was nothing but gentle, and Tony found his gaze lifting to Rhodey's concerned one despite the fact that he didn't really want to. "I know," he continued, "because you are the strongest man I've ever met. And you can get through this." He placed a hand on Tony's shoulder. "But you can't get through it alone, okay?"

 

Tony didn't know if it was the exhaustion or just his guilt anymore, but he found himself shaking his head slightly. "I'm not strong," he whispered, "I'm weak, and I only care about myself." The mother he met after his expo's voice rang in his ears. _"My son is dead because of you."_

 

"That's bullshit!" Rhodey exclaimed, meeting Tony's pathetic gaze. "Hey, stay with me, Tones," he ordered, seeing the glaze that was starting to appear in his friend's eyes. "You are the most caring, bravest-" Rhodey cut himself off - Tony was resting his head on his shoulder. "That's it, buddy," he sighed, wrapping his arms around his friend tightly. Tony wanted to cry, but nothing came. He just allowed himself to be held, and he had to admit, it felt great.

 

Rhodey hugged him for a few full minutes, not saying anything at all, and then slowly guided him to the couch; for both of their sakes. When they sat, Tony still leaned into him, staring blankly ahead, but focusing on Rhodey's arms around him as a way to keep him grounded, and not start thinking about the past again. Because, in the end, that's what would destroy him. 

 

When his breathing evened out and his eyes slipped shut, Rhodey still didn't let go.


End file.
